Welcome to Hurry Up and Make It Day

"Hurry Up and Make It Day" did not come by accident. The author spent many sleepless nights as a child, just hoping the sun would rise so the new day would begin, and life could happen without the threat or manifestation of violence in the home. Giving a graphic account of her own tragic story, the author demonstrates how she was “groomed to kill” as she witnessed the violence in her home, how the abuse affected her as a young child and the tragedy that has haunted her even into adulthood. The author knows first-hand what can happen to children who witness domestic violence from a very young age watching their mother beaten severely.

Every month I’ll post an essay on Domestic Violence Essays, Books, Audiobooks 

When Parents Cause Trauma

By Sheila D. Brady

Children don’t choose the homes they are born into.

They don’t choose the moods, the tempers, the addictions, or the storm cycles of the adults around them. They simply learn to survive them. And some of us learn too early that love can be unpredictable, frightening, or dangerous.

This is not an easy truth to write, but it is a necessary one:

Parents can be the source of a child’s deepest wounds.

And those wounds can alter a life.

In my case, those wounds nearly cost a life.

I grew up in a home marked by fear and violence. When adults believe children aren’t watching—or that children “will get over it”—they are mistaken. We absorb everything: the yelling, the blows, the cycles of apology, the tension that never leaves the air. Trauma settles deep into the bones of a child. It molds thinking, behaviors, fears, and reactions.

And when the threat is constant, a child can become something no child should ever have to become:

a protector.

That was my story.

One night, after years of watching violence unfold, years of helplessness, fear, and emotional numbness, something inside me broke. The trauma escalated into a tragedy that changed the course of every life in that house. My mother’s boyfriend lost his life.

I do not hide this truth anymore.

It was a turning point born from terror, not intention.

The case was later expunged and pardoned, but the emotional sentence stayed with me much longer.

I share this not for sympathy, but for awareness.

Parents need to understand the risk they take when they expose children to violence.

Trauma does not simply bruise the spirit—it can push a child into fight-or-flight decisions far beyond their emotional capacity. Some children run. Some shut down. Some act out in school. Some lash out in anger or withdraw into silence. And some—far too many—reach a breaking point.

Across the country, there are cases of young people charged with killing an abusive parent’s partner. If you look closely at their stories, you will see the same pattern:

years of violence, fear, neglect, and desperation.

These children are not monsters.

They are survivors responding to the chaos adults created.

A Message to Parents

If you are struggling, overwhelmed, or in a volatile relationship, please understand this:

Your child is already affected. Even if you think they are “in the other room,” even if you think they are “too young to understand,” they are absorbing every moment.

Do not wait for the harm to deepen.

Do not wait until trauma becomes your child’s identity.

Seek help. Make a plan. Protect your child’s peace, even if you have not yet found your own.

A Message to Children and Survivors

You are not alone.

Your voice matters. Your safety matters.

There are trusted adults—teachers, counselors, pastors, neighbors—who will listen. There are resources to help you leave, heal, and begin again.

You are not responsible for the violence in your home.

You deserved protection.

You deserved love.

And you deserve peace moving forward.

Why I Speak Out Now

I carry my past, but I do not live in it.

My life today is guided by faith, forgiveness, and a deep commitment to helping others break free from cycles of harm. Sharing my story is part of that commitment.

If my transparency helps one parent change course…

If it helps one child feel seen…

If it helps one family seek safety…

then the pain of speaking becomes purpose.